chaitanya’s wEiRd world

I request my dear friends not to use this blog for passing comments to each other. Comments on actual blog matter will be appreciated! 

It’s just that we humans like to judge everyone and everything. It’s such a subtle trait that we don’t even notice having judged something or someone every now and then. The peculiarity of this judgment is that it tends to be negative. I mean it gives us a satisfaction to point out some negativity.

I have begun to question this judgmental nature. Though, I haven't stopped judging but I am coming to see the actual futility involved in coloring the events with our judgments. Whatever I see in others is a mere reflection of who am I, that’s very true. Whenever we judge it’s just that we label according to our own hang-ups and generalizations ‘coz in nature there are no absolute rules of good and bad. I should respect everyone’s independence, I mean no one is there to suit or satisfy my views of the world. All the goodness and badness is just defined by a person’s own limits.

Actually there are so many facets to anyone’s personality and we fail to see all. One negativity makes a person or a thing bad in spite of the presence of ten other positives ‘coz we escape the goodness. Like taking the example of Shantaram, anyone will call a fugitive, a heroin addict a bad guy. But he did a great service for the slums. I may not be a fugitive, but I do ignore the child beggars on roads.

I deliberately tried to see the beauty in everyone in last few days and hold me I got great glimpses of it even in the people who I hate to love. I can say everyone is beautiful. A thought struck me which I want to get a firm hold of…it was that there is nothing as a good way or bad way, all it is either my way or not my way. When we can learn so much from all the personalities, why waste time passing or pondering over judgments?

Thus I aspire to see only beauty in everyone and everything. Let the mind be open with no pre-formed notions about anything and anyone… that will make life worth living…that will be a life brimming with beauty and may be even bliss. The world surely is delightfully splendid out there!!

 

Reminds of a very apt saying from St. Kabir:

"Bura jo dekhan main chalaa, bura na milaya koe 
jab maine khojaa Aap mein, to mujhse bura na koe"

Translation:
I searched for the crooked, met not a single one
When searched myself, "I" found the crooked one

 

“Face your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. And prepare for the future without fear!”

 
For the last few days I have been emotionally stressed out a bit…which is actually not me. I am not my usual self coz in reality I hate emotions and emotional people. The reason for being like this for the past few days has been not been able to say something to someone and that is making life tuf. It’s basically the fear of rejection. I mean it’s like denying your feelings for someone ‘coz the fear of rejection is too hard to handle. Moreover, if it would have been only a fear, I wud have fought it and won over it but it is more than that. i think tomorrow i'll be reminded of thz lines from Shantaram: "The past reflects eternally between two mirrors-the bright mirror of words and deeds, and the dark one, full of things we didn't do or say."

 
And as if it was not enough to disturb me, came the joining date of job that too so early. Few days back I was so anxious to see my joining letter, but when it actually landed into my hands it subsided my enthu a bit. The thoughts are springing up like am I competent enough to face the professional world? What if I am not able to do what I am required to do? There are many ‘what ifs’ coming to my mind. But I know one thing, no situation ever has been able to bog me down and my ability to work untiringly with efficiency will see me through the tufest of the situations. I am deriving strength from my immense faith in me. Actually this little bit of worry is natural ‘coz here I live in a cyst…a protective layer…which is my comfort zone. Now having to step out of it is what is making me uncomfortable.

 
To make things worse, I feel I am getting short of patience thz days as some of my closest frnds have observed. Now that’s a thing I wud hate to go thru. Staying cool has always been a strength and I don’t like getting angry. I am sorry frnds for the weird behaviour but things r going to be in control again soon.  

There exists a thin line between being concerned about someone and intruding into his private space.Been both and seen both, today I thought of clearly defining this line and hence this jotting down of my thoughts. Actually I asked this question to myself and discussed it wid a frnd…got a better picture.
 

Being either of the two depends on the person’s intentions but it is decided by the second person for whom u r being concerned or more than that. If one intends to intrude into other’s space, it will appear so without doubt to the second person. However the problem arises when one is sincerely concerned about other person but the second person takes it as an invasion.

Now this totally depends on person’s equation with the second person. If the two are really good friends then question of hurting the privacy does not spring up…I mean if you are really close friends. In such a case friendship has to be equally overwhelming from both the sides. Next if friendship is not two sided, then a misunderstanding is bound to happen. Here the greatest trouble is that it is always difficult to gauge the friendship from the other side. I mean how can you determine if that person considers you to be a close friend or not? And that indeed is a terrible feeling, when u intend all the goodness but you are still alleged of malign intentions.

So my sentiment on being intruding or concerned is that it depends entirely on the kind of relation you share with the person. But in this thought, I am left wondering on the question that how to gauge relation from the other side.

I feel this article is more irritating than thought provoking...but blogs are supposed to be meant for dishing out all the crap!! ;) :D

wat say??

This article is about a long standing debate that remains in my mind. It is whether consuming hard drinks is unethical or not. Here lemme clear myself that I detest inebriates.

 

Since my childhood I have not only been taught by my family elders, but have been led by example not to take in hard drinks. I took their reason and made it my own that it is unethical. No one ever gave weight to the reason that it affects health badly (if taken in excess and regularly); the unethical part always held more weight. I have seen that during the traditional match making, there is a plebeian parameter in which the prospective groom is assessed and that is "ladke mein koi abb to nahi hai-daaru, jua etc." But this line of thought, I think, is based on observing the illiterate Indian inebriates who beat their family members and deprive their children of not only education but even meals. But now as I started developing a reasoning of my own, it is creating a problem for me!
 

Though I haven’t made my mind to start drinking, even now I remain a teetotaler. It’s just that I have started questioning abstinence. My food biotechnology book says that wine has nutraceutical (nutritional) properties if taken in proper limited amounts. Barring that bookish knowledge, even if drinking is known to be bad, I just know that we already are engaged in so many unhealthy practices that consuming hard drinks won’t add any significant crime in that list.

Coming to the ethical part of it now, for years what has been unethical for me no longer remains that unethical. May be in the garb of my attitude that mind should not be constricted, personality should not be bound by any rules, thinking is dynamic, I should try every thing at least once etc etc; I am advocating this thing. But fact seriously remains that I now need a concrete reason to prove that consuming hard drinks is unethical. From childhood I have etched impressions on my mind of those C-grade epics where Indra Dev was always shown reveling in drunk revelries.From our mythological figures to modern day civilized people, none of them have never been shy of consuming it socially, I fail to understand the morals tied to it.

I just can not stand this discrimination in judgment of people anymore based on drinking. The ones who are teetotalers are assumed to be good at first sight, even if they are the meanest and have no morals and vice versa.
 

Having said all this, I still do not advocate drinking for reasons unknown to me. Neither do I plan to involve myself in this practice. The counter questions that come to my mind are like why in the first place I want to taste it? Why am I looking so eager to jump into this? Do casual starters always go on to gradually become winos? At the end of my life will I regret having consumed or not having tasted a hard drink?
 

I still feel that I am better right now practicing abstinence, its just that mind is like a parachute- its works the best when open. Do I need to pull in my parachute on this or shud I let go?

Wat say??

Just read this amazing piece in my mail...i cudn't resist sharing it. Before goin thru it, just wonder on this question for a minute: which is ur most important body part and why?

here it goes...

" My mother used to ask me what the most important part of the body is.

Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct Answer.  

When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy."  

She said, "No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon."  

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer.  

So this time I told her, "Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it  must be our eyes."

She looked at me and told me, "You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind." 

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years,

Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, "No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child."

Then one year, my grandfather died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry.

 My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to my Grandfather. She asked me, "Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?" I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me.

She saw the confusion on my face and told  me, "This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in your life. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson."

She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, "My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder."

I asked, "Is it because it holds up my head?"

She replied, "No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it. May u have the compassion and strength to shoulder other's pain."

Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one.

It is made for others and not for yourself. It is sympathetic to the pain of others.  

People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did . But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel."

 

What is Attitude?

 

This question has been bothering me since long now, considering I hear this word so many times everyday. Isn’t these are common remarks one comes across often “he/she has loads of attitude”; “bhaut attitude marta/marti hai” etc etc…

 

My observation is that generally this term is colligated with persons who are rude; who don’t know what courteous behavior is, and who don’t even reply to your ‘hi’ and ‘hellos’, forget about them waving you first! What has attitude to do with a person being approachable or not? I call these types of persons introvert and not the ones who actually sport attitude. Further, these so called attitude class of people will use more of slang in their Slanguage, will take pride in using more of four letter words- “fuck ya”, “suck ya” (I include myself in that) and so on… But this makes it all more confusing for me. I am confused ‘coz in my dictionary this kind of  a conduct can not at all be called some kind of an attitude. I would rather call such person an ill-bred, an arrogant, spoilt brat!

 

I feel that sometimes this ‘attitude’ stems from a superiority complex. I don’t say one should denigrate himself- no, never ever…but feeling oneself superior and that too without any concrete base would be termed by me as a delusion and not attitude.

 

Other times, you see this ‘attitude’ thing on someone’s face, generally the anorexic models stripping down the ramp. Now this also is foxing to my intellect ‘coz how raised eyebrows and an expressionless face can tell you anything about a person’s personality. Here I fail to comprehend whether attitude is a behavioral trait or is it a metaphor for one’s looks??

 

Though my confusions have not ended but I think I should move to my interpretation of attitude now. I think attitude has to do with beliefs of a person rather than any of the characteristics mentioned above.

 

Attitude means a way of thinking which is unique and is constructive. A person may be the most unassuming one but may still have loads of attitude. It’s all about how you feel about significant things, what’s your way of looking at problems, solving the problems, do you feel for someone’s miseries or u r too busy with your own self?  I have seen this thing with ‘attitude’ fellows, they are too individualistic. It’s absolutely fair not to interfere with other’s business and stay focused on one’s own (trait of having attitude) but stretching it too far that one turns blind to the surroundings is what bugs me (negative trait of having attitude).

 

Attitude means having your own beliefs. Attitude is about having your own beliefs which may not necessarily conform to common beliefs but you have got a concrete reason for those. At the same time, it also means that you have the tolerance to listen to other views. It’s good to be obstinate with your views but not at the cost of logic. If your opinion defies logic and gets a beating in an argument because of logic, one should admit the other view as well. Being stubborn is one thing, a good thing though and stretching it to become blind to accept other views just hampers the wider growth of one’s intellect.

 

Attitude means not giving a damn: Another characteristic of having attitude is not giving a damn about what anyone else is thinking about you. I really admire this trait. I have a friend who epitomizes this (I am silently inspired to acquire this trait :))  . But here again I feel that taking this too far is damaging, ‘coz a person never does introspection then. It’s fair not to think on whatever anyone’s thinking about you but some times criticism helps a person in a better way.

 

Finally, the best way I can define attitude is being YOU!! Not trying to imitate others and get easily influenced from other’s personality is the best attribute of having attitude. Standing for wat u believe in without considering anyone's view...yes, tht is attitude! Maintaining one’s own identity despite any comments and compliments is attitude.

 

Basically the whole issue is about the difference between being arrogant, rude, and chesty on one side and having attitude on the other side. There is a thin line between these traits and extending these traits beyond the limits actually debases these values. Just like they say that the strings of guitar should be tight enough to produce gracious music, but not over tight, so that they break.

 

This is not a technical dissection of the Attitude; this is just based on my day-to-day observations and my own attitude. I just wanted to give vent to my feelings on this germane thing. I look forward to your views and I do consider your views highly if they have a logical foundation. Also, if you just contradict my view without sound reasoning, I don’t care!

cheerz :)

Kudos to Raghu for writing such a beautiful observational account of his meeting with Richa Mukherjee in his article "Of big dreams in tiny hands" in HT City on March 31, 08.

I ask the readers to go thru the artcile once before reading my analysis to comprehend it better.

In this article he gives an account about his meeting with an 8yr old child artist Richa,who has acted in 18 TV serials and 2 films!! The girl now wants to be Ms Universe when she grows up. Raghu asks some questions : "Has she lost out on her childhood, or has she just found ambition early? Given a choice, would kids rather play or earn?"

I feel that after writing such a pleasing account, he faltered with the questions in the end that he put up. I do not see any co-relation between childhood and her profession. If childhood is that phase of life when the person should enjoy the most without any stress, then I feel perhaps she is having the best childhood 'coz she is enjoying what she is doing. No one has forced her to do that rather that's her own sweet will. What more can a child ask for in his/her childhood than the freedom to exercise his/her own will!!  She is not only enjoying rather she is determined to make it her future profession. She may not enjoy playing on streets that much as she is enjoying being in front of camera.

I think Raghu better ask this sensitive question after interviewing some child labourer who bears the brunt of being a child labourer, who has actually lost his childhood; who has actually been exploited; who actually sees with sorrowful solitude and fearful clarity of life looking at death in dark rooms of a workshop; who has actually been deprived of his right to BE A CHILD IN HIS CHILDHOOD!!  I am sorry to say that Raghu actually failed to go into areas of human foibles where the camera generally has no access.

For his second question, given an option, the best option will be to earn while you play. So I feel she is one fortunate girl to have found her vocation so early and she is making best use of her childhood.

Raghu Ram (the Roadies guy) writes some nice, thought provoking articles in HT City on Mondays...this is about an article he wrote last month in favour of use of profane words in speech. Today the thinker in me got better of my lazy self and am posting my views...refuting his argument, which i felt was immature and weak.

 

His first premise for justifying his use of abusive language on the show is that language is for expressing oneself and by using expletives he makes himself more clear. I feel that’s a lame excuse to justify his lack of good vocabulary for expressing himself or his emotions especially anger. I never remember anyone’s parent’s using expletives in anger rather there are other ways to express anger. Using abusive language just goes on to show the weakness of the character of a person. If a person reacts so abusively just on participant’s behavior then I fail to imagine how he will react if someone abuses him. This man is not only a misfit in society, better to leave aside his judgment potential. One thing is sure that he can not be a good judge who can’t control his own temper.

 

The second justification could not have gone more childish and immature. The premise, that he is not promoting foul language as kids already use dirty language, just washed of all the last bits of impression from my mind which told me that he is intelligent. I mean if kids are using foul language, is it that we just promote using it instead of making the kids understand. I must say that Mr. Raghu has found a novel way to get inspired by the kids. I just wish he had  rather been inspired by their innocence than by their foul language!

 

Lastly, he says he is not the one to have invented bad language. But so is the case with other bad things like murders and rapes. So people don’t be surprised if he indulges in these heinous activities with the excuse that he has not invented these.

 

I am astonished at this kind of an argument and unripe thinking...may be i am over-reacting...

I see only one reason of using expletives and that is to add spice to the conversation!! :)

waiting for ur comments ppl.

During the times of work pressure or professional stress, the following lines may have a soothing effect. Just think it over...

In a universe

Scattered with zillions of galaxies,

Is a small galaxy called Milky Way,

Clustered with billions of stars.

 

Rotating around one

Of its small stars

Is a tiny planet called earth,

Further divided into continents

And countries.

 

In those countries are cities

With proper localities

Criss-crossed by streets

On which there are

Buildings with many floors.

And on the 5^th floor of which

Is your office.

 

That office has so many departments

And divisions and further broken

Up into cubicles

And in the far left corner

Is one such cubicle on which

Is written your name.

 

Does your vision

End in that cubicle, in front of

Your computer screen?

 

Or??